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The Greatest Short Story that Absolutely Ever Was (1989) features a title piece in which Grayson again mocks both the blockbuster ethos of the 1980s book publishing business and the inconsequential nature of his own fictional efforts, largely published in obscure literary magazines or small-press books. The story is a compilation of gossip column items à la Larry King or Liz Smith, each ending with the requisite ellipses. These items concern Richard Grayson, an "ultra-talented" "super-writer," who, it is rumored, is at work on "another one of his short-story masterpieces." Breathlessly, the gossip columnist reveals details of the plot ("based on his own adventures on the psychiatrist's couch and in graduate school"), the secrecy surrounding work on the story (the author's eighty-two-year-old grandmother was said to be interviewing "all the candidates for the honor of typist . . . in the back booth of the Bagel Whole Restaurant in Plantation, Florida"), and a possible movie deal involving superstar actors (Tom Cruise reportedly gets down on his hands and knees to grovel before Grayson, who demands that the actor "put on fifty pounds and a dirty blond wig and glasses to play the main character, said to be based on Richie himself"). After pages of this hype-filled buildup, the author/character angrily denies to USA Today that "his much ballyhooed masterpiece doesn't even exist," but finally the "dynamic young superwriter who's shaken up America with his fantastic innovations in short fiction" announces at a closed-circuit press conference that he is abandoning his story but will begin a new story, "an experimental piece about all the furor writing the first story caused."